17 Weeks Without Doom Scrolling (And I Work In Social Media)
Here’s the most ironic thing about my life right now: I make content for a living, and social media, mainly Instagram, was making me genuinely unwell.
Not in a vague way either but in a very specific way. I have health anxiety, and it turns out that handing a person with health anxiety a device that serves up an infinite scroll of worst case scenarios is not a great idea. Who knew? (Everyone. Everyone knew.)
But the health anxiety piece was only part of it. The other part was that I would open the app to post something, get sucked into the scroll, and twenty minutes later put my phone down feeling like I was doing everything wrong. My parenting. My home. My body. My life. The internet has this incredible ability to make completely normal, perfectly good moments feel inadequate, and I was consuming everyone else’s highlight reel while being half present in my own actual life.
My least anxious moments come when I’m hyper fixated on something (I’m sure a psychiatrist would have a field day with me). When people ask why I’m always doing something, it’s because my anxiety plays in a feedback loop unless I’m constantly busy. Scrolling was keeping me busy but it wasn’t filling anything, it was just noise. So much noise, that it started becoming its own problem.
Seventeen weeks ago I decided to try something different.
What I Actually Did
I want to be honest that I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t do a detox or make a big announcement. I didn’t buy the cute little brick that everyone else seems to have. I just started noticing that the weeks I stayed off my phone the most, were the weeks I focused on connection instead. Whether that looked like hosting friends for dinner, going out, or just actually being with the people I love. I think a lot of us scroll when we’re bored or seeking connection, and when I gave myself real versions of those things, I didn’t need the fake version as much. Plus I had no time for it!
The other thing that helped was finding things to do with my hands. Watercoloring. Tending the garden (currently at war with aphids but we’re persevering). Cooking from an actual cookbook. Porch crafts with my kids. Reading in the bath with a tiny lamp (my best tiktok shop purchase to date). When my hands are busy I don’t reach for my phone because I’m already inside something, and that absorption is what my brain actually wanted all along.
I also think 90s parenting might have been onto something. No comparison games. No outside noise. No wondering if you’re doing the right thing every five minutes. Just living.
What The Science Says (Because It’s Not Always As Easy As “Pick Up A Hobby”)
I know that’s not helpful advice for everyone so here’s what actually helps according to people who study this (aka actual professionals):
You can’t just stop, you have to replace. Your brain needs somewhere to put the urge. The replacement needs to give you something real: absorption, calm, accomplishment, connection. Hobbies aren’t just a nice idea. They’re neurologically the right move, so try and find a hobby that sparks joy- any hobby counts ok?
Friction is your friend. Move apps off your home screen. Charge your phone in the kitchen instead of your bedroom, or put your phone in a room you don’t often go in during the day. You don’t have to delete anything, just make it slightly harder to reach. Small barriers make a surprisingly big difference and it’s a lot less enticing to scroll when you can’t just pull your phone out of your back pocket.
Know your trigger moments. Scrolling spikes when we’re bored, anxious, or transitioning between tasks. The five minutes after the kids go to bed. Waiting in the car. That afternoon lull. Identify those moments you’re more likely to scroll, and have something nearby you can do instead.
Give yourself a scrolling window. Research shows that restricting phone use to set times…like, 20 minutes after lunch and 20 minutes in the evening, is a LOT more effective than trying to quit cold turkey. You're not removing it, you're just containing it. Your brain relaxes because it knows the scroll isn't gone forever, it's just scheduled now. I try to scroll after I post for work for 30 ish minutes, and then I drag myself off because the algorithm gets too dang specific.
Your body is your best tool. Exercise, sunlight, making things with your hands, real conversation… these will restore your brain’s baseline dopamine levels and reduce the pull of cheap dopamine hits like scrolling. This is why a walk actually helps. Or training for a half marathon if you’re feeling extra adventurous.
Seventeen Weeks In
Here’s what I can tell you so far: I feel SO MUCH calmer. My health anxiety isn’t cured by any means, but it still being a problem is a push for me to maybe think about therapy.
But in my personal life, I feel so much more fulfilled. The less time I spend online the more I feel like I’m actually living in my own life instead of just comparing myself to everyone else. And there’s a lot less parenting guilt too.
I still open Instagram. It’s my job, I have to. But I post, scroll for a little, and then ghost (truly). And the rest of the time my hands are busy with other things like baby watermelons in the garden, baking and crafting with my kids, reading countless books, and all of my watercoloring books.
I care less and less about having a picture perfect home and more about creating a home that feels warm, safe, and interesting to grow up in. There’s clutter and sometimes chaos but we’re always having the best time. I feel like a better mom not because I’m doing more but because I’m actually there and so much more present.
I think parenting would feel so much lighter if we all stopped consuming everyone else’s highlight reels, because truth be told we probably all lead pretty amazing lives ❤️.
For paid subscribers, The No Scroll Summer activity list is below. It’s a list of 30 things to do instead of reaching for your phone, pulled straight from my own life. Print it, save it, screenshot it. Whatever helps.
